In a Weird Place...

We are TTC our 4Th, or is it our 5Th? Its always confusing, should I count Kai or not? I will just say we are TTC our 4Th LIVING child. After 4 losses this is a daunting task. I am working on my health and hoping it helps us have another baby.
In the meantime I have three big boys!
I signed Isaiah up for VPK (in Florida we have 4 yo preschool the is paid by the state). This means in the fall, for 4 hours a day, I will be alone! I will miss the little monkey terribly, he is really awesome company (as are all they boys...for the most part lol).
Its been a longtime since I have washed a bottle, changed a diaper, used a stroller, or snuggled a tiny baby.
I miss all those things something fierce.
I wont say its all bad though, we are enjoying where we are for the time being. There is no prep time to leave the house, we just up and leave. We can go to the movies or out to eat (well depending on Noah's mood). We go to the beach with a bottle of sun screen and a towel!
They are all hilarious little men and actually FUN to hang out with.
Yet, we still feel like we are in limbo, like someone is missing from our crew.