While chatting with my oldest friend, she told me that her sister (who I have known since I was 12) thought I was one of the strongest people she knew.
I am feeling really weak right about now. I am an emotional mess and my body is tired. I feel like I have whined about this miscarriage too much. Maybe wallowed in the sorrow too long.
So what makes a person strong? Is it the ability to move through obstacles without a scratch? Or is it the ability to get scratches (hell in some cases, be hit by semi) and keep going?
I have a tendency to complain. No really, I do. Ha ha. Despite this fact, I really try not to dwell on the negative. And my life has had more than its share of negative.
Messed up childhood. check
Disable child. check (though this is a challenge, I don't actually see it as a negative, Noah brings more joy than any negative aspects could ever outweigh)
Losing baby. check
Way too many miscarriages. check
*see I like to whine*
Yet, I am for the most part happy. I have the best freaking husband ever. Seriously he is hot AND like to clean the kitchen. And oh yeah he is a great dad. I three amazing now-not-so-little-boys. I am blessed.
Sometimes I have to smack myself to remember these things. This has been a rough week, I won't lie. I've a pity party and cried over our misfortune. But last night as I crept into each boys room to kiss them in their sleep, I started to cry for a different reason. I have it better than so many people. No matter what life has thrown my way, someone else always has it worse.
Does that make me a strong person? Ha. I have no idea. I look at people like Heather Spohr and Loralee and think of strength.
I am just a mom.