Rolling with the Punches

While chatting with my oldest friend, she told me that her sister (who I have known since I was 12) thought I was one of the strongest people she knew.

Wow.

I am feeling really weak right about now. I am an emotional mess and my body is tired. I feel like I have whined about this miscarriage too much. Maybe wallowed in the sorrow too long.

So what makes a person strong? Is it the ability to move through obstacles without a scratch? Or is it the ability to get scratches (hell in some cases, be hit by semi) and keep going?

I have a tendency to complain. No really, I do. Ha ha. Despite this fact, I really try not to dwell on the negative. And my life has had more than its share of negative.

Messed up childhood. check
Poverty. check
Disable child. check (though this is a challenge, I don't actually see it as a negative, Noah brings more joy than any negative aspects could ever outweigh)
Losing baby. check
Way too many miscarriages. check

*see I like to whine*

Yet, I am for the most part happy. I have the best freaking husband ever. Seriously he is hot AND like to clean the kitchen. And oh yeah he is a great dad. I three amazing now-not-so-little-boys. I am blessed.

Sometimes I have to smack myself to remember these things. This has been a rough week, I won't lie. I've a pity party and cried over our misfortune. But last night as I crept into each boys room to kiss them in their sleep, I started to cry for a different reason. I have it better than so many people. No matter what life has thrown my way, someone else always has it worse.

Does that make me a strong person? Ha. I have no idea. I look at people like Heather Spohr and Loralee and think of strength.

I am just a mom.