Thursday, September 2, 2010


That is how I feel right now.

After my last post about doing what's right for my kids, I was feeling confident as a mom.

Until today.

We picked up all three kids in the car line, as normal it's a burst of sound, Isaiah telling me what every kid ate and did today. Noah proud he had a good day, except that mommy (me) put a belt on him and DUH he doesn't have the skills to get it off in the potty.

About 5 minutes into the ride I notice Jordan isn't speaking. I look back and he is silently crying. He is a sensitive kid and is no stranger to tears. But instantly my momma radar went off. His brothers then say they just realized he didn't talk to them on the car ramp either. I start throwing out questions, "did you get in trouble? hurt? get a bad grade?" Then it hit me. It was that little fucker again.

It's probably wrong to call a kid a little fucker, but really I am having a hard time grasping my rage right now.

Last year Jordan had almost daily run ins with a boy in his class. Never physical, but constant taunting and teasing. Pretending to be his friend and then hurting his feelings on purpose. He had a male teacher, who was very much in the mind set that they should work it out on their own. And since it wasn't physical I let myself get talked into letting it go. My heart sank when I walked into his classroom this year to see that boys name on the class list.


I asked him daily the first week, is everything ok? And he swore it was. But this week, I forgot to ask. I am sick, but that is no excuse. Turns out the mental bullying picked right back up. Except now this kid has recruited another kid to help out. After they got in trouble in class for picking on him, they waited til he was walking out to the car ramp to PUNCH him in the backpack and laugh at him.

I have been talking to his teacher via email tonight. She plans to tell the boys a teacher saw what they did and they will be dealt with and Jordan will not be incriminated. She is going to have the counselor come in and talk to the class about bullies and standing up to them. She is doing all that she thinks is best. But what is killing me is it is coming across as it's JORDAN'S problem. He is shy, quiet, and lacks confidence. Well NO SHIT he has been bullied for more than a year.

He is sensitive and shy. Qualities my other two barbarians son's do not have. Despite Noah's special needs, he just assumes everyone likes him and if they don't he just ignores them. Isaiah assumes the same and 90% of the time it's true.

I am an outgoing person. Hubby is not. Neither is right or wrong. It's just who we are. My son is being picked on for being GOOD. He has never been in trouble at school. The bullies are on a daily basis, not for bullying, for general badness.

Jordan is insanely strong. Like freakishly. The kids has a six pack and pecks that would make a jersey shore cast member jealous. He can life and carry more weight than I can. My dad pointed out, that he should just kick the kids asses. My dad went to school in the 60's when a fight got your mom called. Now a days you fight, you get arrested. YES. In second grade. They will cuff you. I have seen it with my own eyes. So I always stressed to all the boys, Jordan in particular, NEVER EVER hit. Even if they hit you.

But right now, I am leaning towards my dads side. Hell I want to beat them.

I feel at loss.

Do I demand a class room change? And risk making him a bigger target? They will still see him at specials and lunch. Do I see how the teachers plan works? I have not a clue. I want to keep him home and protect him from all this. Am I over reacting? Under reacting? I don't want to be that mom that loses her child because she didn't defend him against bullies. But I don't want to be THAT mom, the over protective nut case.

Have you dealt with bullies? I need all the help I can get.


Anonymous said...

Your post made me cry. I dealt with bullies daily from 3rd to 8th grade. I begged my parents to let me go to a different school but they ignored the problem entirley. It hurt me so much- it still does. I am SO GLAD you are listening to your son and taking action. Poor baby! Makes me so mad that kids do this. I dont have great advice for you except PLEASE ask him everyday, show him you care and do everything you can to help him. Bullies are awful business. I will pray for you and for Jordan. I am so sorry you have to go through this. Love
Mary (MaryM27_81)

Chibi said...

Oh, poor Jordan. This breaks my heart. :( I'm so sorry he's going through this, but I'm SO glad he has you on his side.

Sending love. <3

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

As a former teacher, I'd immediately request a classroom change. It's early enough in the year so he'll barely notice once he's settled. NO ONE, Jordan especially, needs to know why he's changing; "it just happens."

He doesn't deserve the attacks he's receiving, but teacher's hands are tied in these situations sometimes, so moving your child should be the solution for you.

I hope for the best for you guys.

mom2nji said...

Thank you all. This is a situation that no one ever expects to be in. Hate to see him hurting.

Lauren (@solstice621) said...

Oh, your post brought tears to my eyes!! Maybe keep communicating with the teacher and if it doesn't change ASAP, ask to switch classes? Or request a conference with the teacher AND the other child's parent? (Will they do that? My daughter just started Kgarten so I'm new to the elementary school world) Ask what the school policy is on bullying. Maybe they have a zero tolerance policy for something like this? I wish I had more advice, but I can at the very least validate your feelings and cheer you on as you advocate for your son! <3

mom2nji said...

our county has a zero tolerance policy, but sadly our principal picks and chooses when to use it.

Mandy Barrett said...

I would definitely ask to have him change classes. I just don't want this to change his willingness to show how bright he is in class. I don't want him not to raise his hand when he has the answer just because other children are jealous of him. The name calling and bullying might also be the reason for his acute emotional changes at home. And if the teacher does not move him, I say the whole family show that school just what happens when they mess with someone from our family. We might be dysfunctional but we protect each other at all costs. You are a momma bear and you will protect him and make the right decision.

Anonymous said...

Here is a GREAT resource about bullying: