Monday, September 27, 2010

Trying

Fake it til you make it.

I figured I could do it.

Pretend I was FINE with never having another baby, until I get to the point I believe it.

I have been trying for months. I almost had myself fooled.

But the pain is back.

I can't go anywhere without seeing something that stabs me into the heart.

I so badly want there to be magic fix for whatever is causing my body to destroy pregnancy after pregnancy.

It's not in the cards for us and I have to accept that.

Just wish it didn't hurt so much.

3 comments:

Sarah R said...

I know this feeling completely. Even though we're both dealing with lack-of-baby for different reasons, I know the pain of the emptiness. I don't know how God will resolve this for either one of us. Either we'll have babies, or we won't and life goes on. I just wish I knew. And I know you do too. xoxoxo

TOLIVER FAMILY said...

i'm sorry. i pray that God grants you the desires of your heart.

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