Tuesday, September 21, 2010


October is Domestic Violence Awareness month.

Most of us don't think about domestic violence on an everyday basis, but when we do we think it only effects lower class, unmarried, clearly dysfunctional families.

The truth could not be further from that.

Everyday thousands of seemingly perfect moms/dads hide a secret. They live in fear of the time bomb that is their spouse. Walking on eggshells, trying to keep facade of normalcy, all while suffering.

Why do women/men stay when there is abuse? There are so many reasons: fear,lack of self worth, money, psychological, "love", and the one that is most ironic children.

I have seen what staying for the children ends up as. My friend is a guardian through the courts for children in those situations. What most don't realize is that when a spouse abuses another in front of the children it IS CHILD ABUSE. In the state of Florida it is considered abuse even if the child is never touched. And if you think your kids don't know what is happening... You are wrong.

I didn't wait to publish this til next month for many reasons. The first being this post by Jen that broke my heart. Followed by this one by Nic that turned my heartbreak into anger.

Even people in the public eye are not immune, yesterday the father on the tv show Raising Sextuplets was arrested for domestic violence.

I have gotten into many arguments of the past few months about the Eminem and Rhianna song, "love the way you lie". Some think it glorifies domestic violence. I have to disagree. It portrays a couple stuck in a cycle they can't stop. In many cases these relationships are NOT about hate and violence all the time. There is passion and love, so intense it's not healthy. Then there is ugly, hateful violence. It just repeats over and over. Like an addiction. Not all domestic violence had many faces, the soccer mom, the celebrity, the friend, mother, sister. It never looks the same. But the results are never good.

You may not see it. But it is there. We all need to be aware.

I am by no means an expert, but I feel like I can't sit idle by and say nothing.

To the women who find yourself in this place. YOU ARE SPECIAL. YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU DESERVE A BETTER LIFE.



fidget said...

I know it's hard to leave

I know it is scary to leave


Treehugging Nana said...

Thank you so much for posting this...so few people understand the damage they are doing to thier children, thier families and so many others they are in contact with and who care about them..
PLease ...wake up and leave....just leave, before it comes to life or death..it IS a matter of life and death!

Treehugging Nana said...

i have to say too...PLEASE reads the posts Jenni refers to in her blog....it may hit a nerve.

My Bottle's Up! said...

thank you so much for writing this... it's all so important.

xo mama.