Friday, August 28, 2009

Am I in the Right class??

As nervous as I was for the kids first day of school, I didn't give mine much thought. This is my 3rd year at community college (part-time), my biggest concern was parking. Which turned out to be awful. After parking in other zip code, I hobbled (my walk is getting less pathetic, but is still SLOW) to class.

On the first day of class there is always a LONG 10 minutes of awkward silence as everyone sizes each other up and waits for the professor to show, all you hear is the crinkling of paper and squeaking of chairs, fun stuff I assure you. I want to talk to everyone, since you know I like to over share, but they will find out I am a nerd soon enough.

Then suddenly the silence is broken, as what I thought was another older adult student burst in. I thought there he is, the "that guy" for this term. I am convinced every college class has to have at least one douchnozzle in it, you know the person who has a question, comment, or argument for everything. But then annoying guy walked to the front of the class, OH GOD NO, annoying guy is actually annoying PROFESSOR.

He begins by telling us he has only one pet peeve, tardiness. Okay no problem, I am always on time. Calls roll, like a normal professor, and then...the psycho hits the fan.

Things I learned in GEOGRAPHY class:

1. College texts books are an f-ing (he dropped the f bomb) scam, we were to return our books to get a refund. (sweeet)

2. His ex wife is a she bitch.

3. America is dying and he is sad.

4. Obama is a communist.

5. All presidents in the past 20 years were terrible and immoral.

6. His new wife has his balls in a jar on top of the tv that she make him watch Bridzillas on.

7. He grew up poor and never missed a day of school.

8. Instead of writing a paper, we get to do research for his thesis.

9. Micheal Vick should rot in hell. (he went into detail about how Vick killed dogs)

10. He is a weather psychic.

11. Brett Farve is a prick, he knows him personally. Some story about peeing in the middle of a bar...

12. We wont have to stay til 9:30. WHOOT

13. America is dying. AGAIN

14. He makes it easy to get an A.

15. He teaches middle school during the day.

16. The American family is dead.

And then we were dismissed. We all stumbled out of the room look at each other like, you were there right? RIGHT?? WTH just happened in there?

I spent the entire hour biting the inside of my cheek and picking at nail polish. This is going to be one interesting semester.


fidget said...

and the man is teaching our children during the day..... I wonder if they are also doing his thesis research...

Barb said...

OMG that is freakin hilarious BUT yes it's scary that he is teaching our kids during the day!!!

Sarah R said...

I'm still wiping the tears from my eyes.