My parental well of ideas has been tapped dry. I have tried tough love, I have tried paying him special attention, I have tried a mix of the two, all to no avail.
If you would have told me two years ago, that the child stressing me out would be Jordan and not Noah, I would have laughed like a loon.
Jordan is perfectly behaved at school and 99% of the time, he is perfect out in public. At home? Is another story completely. He is a bully to his little brother, has temper tantrums, and cries at the drop of a hat. None of these behaviors is acceptable for an almost seven year old.
My first instinct is to break bad, and no I don't mean spankings (though we have on rare occasions spanked). By break bad, I mean zero tolerance, privileges and possessions taken away for breaking rules. This plan seemed to back fire, it caused him to cry more and not just about the thing taken away, but for hours, about everything.
I ranted on twitter the other day about whimpy parents, afraid to discipline for fear it hurts their kids feelings. This is different. Because Noah needs more attention with his special needs and people naturally pay more attention to Isaiah, because he is the baby, I worry Jordan genuinely feels unloved.
I have tried talking to him, paying special attention to him, even coddling him. Thinking he just needs to know he IS loved. And while he does suck it up, there is no change in the other behaviors.
Right now, we are working on a combo of the two, but he still cries and has tantrums. When I say we have tried something, I am talking about months at time, not switching up on him on a daily basis. I know how important consistency is.
Is this normal for his age? Even though I have a nine year old, he hasn't gone through the usual milestones.
In his defense, there are a few reasons for him to be more emotional than the average seven year old boy. #1 He has been on an almost continuous flow of steroids since he was eight months old, because of his asthma. I was on steroids for a week, when I had the swine flu, and thought I was going to go bat shit crazy. #2 There is an weird dynamic in our house, Jordan is the middle child in age, but the oldest in maturity because of Noah's Autism. He has more responsibility than all of his friends(like keeping an eye on Noah in the lunch room, helping him wait in car line, talking for Noah in situations where he freezes, ect). These are all things no one asked him to do, he does them on his own, but feels like he has too. While I understand this struggle for him, it's the lot our family was given and in the long run? I think it will make him a better person.
So that leads us to now. Me banging my head in frustration, him crying. AGAIN.
Has anyone else dealt with an extremely emotional, higher tempered child?
Is this a phase? Please God, tell me it will end.
Surfing Sunday 03.18
1 day ago