I hear comments all the time about how laid back I am as a parent (see lazy). I am still uptight about somethings, like trying to keep the house habitable, but for the most part I am laid back. However, I wasn't always.
When dh and I were trying to conceive our first, we had list 90 miles long of things we would NEVER do as parents. We would never: spank, curse in front of the kids, put them in front of the tv, have them out past bedtime, let them leave the house looking messy, or allow those evil toy guns in my house. You know all those awesome judgmental things most "perfect" parents or even worse the non-parent types are thinking. What I call "Well, I never syndrome".
Guess what happened?
I have done all of them.
It started when I finally got that beautiful positive pregnancy test (it took a long time). I planned a natural birth, in a birthing center and I ended up with a very drugged up planned csection, due to a stuck frank breech position.
I planned to breastfeed, but quickly gave up. I also planned on continuing to work, there was no way I would be a house wife! Ha, I lasted back at work a few months, I wanted to be with my son! I am still home, but I am not saying I will never go back to work. There is a reason for the saying, "You plan, God laughs".
Week-by-week, day-by-day, hell even hour-by-hour, all my "well I never" ideas got shot to shit. Nine years into this parenting gig, I am no closer to being an expert or all that much wiser.
However, I am a whole lot less judgmental. I do still have a list of nevers, but it is pretty short. So far, I am nothing like the parent I thought I would be. In many ways having a special needs child has taught me to take things as they come and to accept them however they turn out. My only goal as a mother is to raise healthy, happy children, who find something in life that makes them happy.
The moral to the story is, you don't know what kind of parent you will be until you are smack dab in the middle of it. Even then you are subject to change at a moments notice.
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