I went to the mental health clinic today.
I dug in deep all week, telling myself I just had to get through today.
I was wrong. I only saw a counselor to discuss my anxiety, who, once again, determined I have anxiety problems. No shit, REALLY?
So I get to see an actual doctor on September 2nd.
That is a really long time for someone who has been in a constant state of panic for more than a month.
I have no choice, I have to keep battling through.
Monday morning is my appointment with the surgeon. I don't really know what to expect. He may look at my scans and say no further action is needed (please let him say this), he may want to aspirate a small cyst I have, or he could decide to surgically remove my ducts and send them for pathology.
Like I said before my scans were both good. No signs of cancer. But the panic attack disorder won't let me stop fearing and obsessing over the worst.
I obsessively, keep reading message boards with people with who have had the same symptoms I have and later found out it was cancer. I KNOW those are the rare cases, and DUH when you read CANCER message boards, you will find the people who have CANCER.
I am trying to remain calm and think of the best. Something panic attack disorders make very very difficult.
Since I can't get any meds,can you please send me calming vibes and prayers, that I make it through this weekend panic attack free and that the doctor says there is no cancer. Thank you all for the support and love over the past few months.
Surfing Sunday 07.15
1 hour ago