Disclaimer: Remember when my blog was conservative and about coupons? Yeah...not so much anymore. If you are skittish about sex talk or are a family member, close this post now.
This post has been rumbling around in my head for a few weeks, but I didn't get the balls to write it out until I read my girl Fidget's post yesterday. If you haven't read hers and are married, you need to. She is just about the only person who cares more about married sex than I do. She is issuing a two week challenge to amp up your relationship over at Finding Yourself, Despite Yourself. I am not going to be nearly as eloquent as she is, but this is topic I feel strongly about as well. I think every relationship can benefit from taking this challenge.
Earlier this month, one of my friends hosted an adult toy party. It was a bunch of moms from Isaiah's christian preschool. I am pretty sure the conversations on the playground leading up to the party and even more so following it, would make a hooker blush.
Through those conversations I was surprised to learn what many couples think is a normal amount of sex in their marriages. Believe me, we have had dry spells. We have had lonnnggg bed rests during my pregnancies, where sex was a huge no no. BUT we have always tried to maintain intimacy, we snuggle, kiss, feel each other up, and do other things wink,wink.
I am not saying you need to turn into sex fiends or anything, but sex is IMPORTANT. The more sex you have, the more you want it. The more sex you have, the happier you both are. When you are both happy, your family is happy.
After settling into parenthood, it is easy to settle into to sexless land. You stop wanting or even thinking about it. For the first few days of this challenge you will have to make and EFFORT to move into this frame of mind, but once you do? You will catch yourself grabbing for his hand when watching tv or smacking him on the butt as you walk by. The sex isn't all about SEX, it's about building a strong connection between the two of you. Think of it this way, every time you touch, snuggle, or have sex, you are adding threads to the rope that connects you. When life wears down that rope, it will not break because you are continually building it. Without those threads/connections it will fall apart.
Sex is not going to stop all divorces or make a troubled relationship perfect, but it sure helps smooth out the bumps in the road.