It's a Baby... and All That Goes With It

In case you missed me talking about it on Twitter or Facebook, I am having a baby GIRL! Like WHOA dude. A girl. After four boys.

We found out about two weeks ago in the ER(dehydration), that it MIGHT be a girl. The high risk office left NO doubt last Thursday, our little one was not at all shy. Within one minute of the wand hitting my belly, there was a clear girl shot.

I am glad we had a kinda idea before Thursday, because I might have fallen off the table.

Contrary to what everyone and their mother thought, we did not go through all these losses and kept trying just to get our girl. Honestly, I never for one second, even considered we would have a girl. EVER. After four boys, I figured it was my fate to have all boys, and you know what? I was thrilled with that.

I am not a girly person. I have very few girlfriends in real life. At this point I know what I am doing with boys.

I am scared.

I am scared of passing some of my less than desirable traits on to her. All the women in my family have mental illness issues. Including myself. I am scared I will not know what to do with her. I am scared I will fail her.

I don't know why. I didn't have those fears with my sons.

The fear gets a little less everyday. Every time she kicks or rolls, I know she is MINE (well ours) and I will be a awesomegreatpretty good mom to her, just like I am to the boys.

Buying pink doesn't hurt either.

Tomorrow I should get the results of our final blood tests. I am praying that they are normal and I can relax. I want her to be healthy, so badly. If you wouldn't mind praying (chanting,sending vibes, ect) that they are normal, I would be very grateful.