This morning when I was clipping coupons, I came across a baby wipes coupon, and clipped it. I sat there looking at for a moment and all of a sudden it hit me. We really are having a baby.
There have been other moments, that I was like WHOA this is real...That first ultrasound when there actually was a heartbeat...The NT scan seeing a healthy kicking very active baby...Hearing the heartbeat on a doppler for the first time since I was pregnant with Isaiah. All moments that caused me to stop and think that maybe, just maybe, this time it will work and we will have our miracle baby. But this little coupon smacked me right in the heart.
The baby gave us a scare on Friday.
All week long I was having a major panic attack about them not being able to find the heartbeat at my appt. so much so that I gave in an called on Wednesday and begged them to do heartbeat check now to lower my anxiety, and since I am pretty sure the top of my chart says "crazy" they got me right in. It took a couple minutes, but there is was, perfect!
I could breathe again.
So Friday morning, I was a little nervous, but fairly confident that they would be able to find the baby. Three nurses, the doctor and over an hour later, no baby, no heartbeat. I was bordering on hysterical. I was shaking like a leaf and my panic was reaching epic levels. My doctor ordered an urgent ultrasound, I waited 15 minutes, which felt like a year, and the tech squeezed me in. The second the wand hit my belly I saw a VERY active baby. She had a hard time locking on the heart because the baby was flipping and kicking like a maniac! Eventually she got it 156 bpm. WHEW. She said that the doppler wasn't picking the baby up because it wont stop moving!
She tried to take a peak at the gender wasn't willing to share yet! So we have to wait til May 12th.
Not dead yet.
11 hours ago