Pity Party of One

I really try not to dwell on the negative side of having an Autistic child with additional learning disabilities. Noah is a blessing in every sense of the word (as are all my boys). I occasionally complain about the destructive aspect of his behavior, but I never talk about how scared I am.

With my soon to be 1st grader, I know there is a chance he will get a teacher he doesn't like, but he will cope. With Noah the thought of him having to change teachers makes me feel a little ill, despite the issues we have faced with the teaching team he has, Noah is comfortable with them.

At this point though, I think a change is what he needs. These last few weeks have been rough to say the least. Noah has shut down at school. He won't write, play, eat, or sing, so basically he just sits there all day long. Once again this year, he was not allowed to take part in field day. I fought with his teacher hard, because I really wanted him to take part. We compromised, instead of him having great behavior all week, he only needed one day. And he would have no part of it. When I say good behavior, I want to be clear, he is not "bad" at school as in destructive or disruptive, he just goes catatonic.

I was irrationally saddened that he didn't do field day. I just wanted him to be able to do some NORMAL things.

His teaching team has decided to give up on the concepts of phonics and handwriting for now. Though I have been fighting for this for almost a year, it kind of stings. He will be learning with a keyboard and working on learning words through pictures.

I was also given the word, he is not working towards a regular diploma, rather he will get a special needs diploma.

With all the wonderful mommies I know that have lost their precious children, I feel like hell for whining. I just feel a little down in the dumps about this whole situation and scared about what the future holds.