With Twitter and the blogoshere all aflutter with TSAgate09. The topic of being truthful is all over. *For the record, I have chatted with the person involved a few times in the past and really like her. I have no idea what really happened that day. It's not my story. Granted, my busybody nature wants to know, but I will have to get over it.*
Anyhoo back to what I was saying... Being truthful.
Ugh this is hard for me, I have never lied on twitter or my blog. But I tend to gloss over. I have a horrible time letting it all out. Even in my "venting" posts, it isn't all there. I also have a lot to tell about things that have happened to me, but I can't.
I have these numbing fears; of hurting people, of letting people down, of coming across whiny, or people judging me.
I try to come across as a happy person, who has it all together (ha ha), who is strong, and who can take the knocks life seems to constantly hurl my way.
But the truth is, I am angry, I am sad, I am lost... so freaking lost.
Even as I type these words, I feel like a weak loser.
I don't feel like there is a single person on earth I can tell all the crap that is in my head too.
I admire all the ladies that can lay it all out. Just pour their hearts into post after post. After blogging for more than a year, I feel like my blog is still superficial (with the exception of a few posts). I have no idea how to convince myself it's ok to be truthful about how I feel.
Not dead yet.
11 hours ago