I went to the mental health clinic today.
I dug in deep all week, telling myself I just had to get through today.
I was wrong. I only saw a counselor to discuss my anxiety, who, once again, determined I have anxiety problems. No shit, REALLY?
So I get to see an actual doctor on September 2nd.
That is a really long time for someone who has been in a constant state of panic for more than a month.
I have no choice, I have to keep battling through.
Monday morning is my appointment with the surgeon. I don't really know what to expect. He may look at my scans and say no further action is needed (please let him say this), he may want to aspirate a small cyst I have, or he could decide to surgically remove my ducts and send them for pathology.
Like I said before my scans were both good. No signs of cancer. But the panic attack disorder won't let me stop fearing and obsessing over the worst.
I obsessively, keep reading message boards with people with who have had the same symptoms I have and later found out it was cancer. I KNOW those are the rare cases, and DUH when you read CANCER message boards, you will find the people who have CANCER.
I am trying to remain calm and think of the best. Something panic attack disorders make very very difficult.
Since I can't get any meds,can you please send me calming vibes and prayers, that I make it through this weekend panic attack free and that the doctor says there is no cancer. Thank you all for the support and love over the past few months.
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